I’m trying really hard to ignore you...

Needless to say I’m failing miserably…

Why am I telling you this? Even I’m not sure…

But I have a few ideas…

Like I always do...

..maybe I’m hoping that it'll be easier...

..maybe I’m hoping that you'd notice..that you'd pay more attention...

..maybe I’m hoping that if I tell you this, I’d try harder.. that my stupid pride would prevent me from thinking of you...

Yet my hand is reaching out to my phone..before I know what’s going on, I’m dialing your number.. I’m fully aware of what I’m doing by now..but I can’t bring myself to hang up...

And that pisses me off like you wouldn’t believe!..even more so when you don’t pick up and the line goes dead...

I apologize for speaking like that, but if you felt like I do, you'd be mad too..especially when you know you'd do it again...

..and again...

..and again...

..and yet again…

Just can’t seem to be able to bring myself to care about the ungodly hour....

...nor that I’m making a bigger fool of myself...