*insert excuses for not updating*

ja ne! ^_^

THE DUMMY’S GUIDE TO STAYING HOME ALONE!

Forewarning: In this article and the ones following this, I’m not saying any of you should do any of this (like that would stop most of you >_>). This is all just for fun. I’m saying all this stuff because I found out that a young cousin of mine reads my blog (ok so he is like 13, but he’s always gonna be a kid to me, dammit! I remember the time when he was born! That is my guide or scale or whatever to determine if a person is ‘too young’!)

I hope no one rats out on me to my parents!

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This is a memoir of sorts on how to fully appreciate a house that is devoid of authoritative figures (be it for even one measly hour).

In this article I shall outline all the important basic rules one should follow:

1- BE PREPARED!

Ever heard the phrase, ‘unexpected turn of events’? Well, don’t scoff it off as a myth! The reason this phrase exists is because it’s true. It’s not something that always happens in the books you read or the movies you watch. Therefore, my first and foremost advise to you all is to always expect the inevitable, i.e. parents returning home before you’ve pulled your fly up!

This covers a vast area of the home-alone-experience. In fact, almost every other aspect in this guide is an extension of this point. How you can be prepared is to always plan ahead and have all the necessary items in place and, of course, be alert. As said by Professor Moody (if you don’t know who that is, too bad), CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Scenario: Suppose your parents went out for a party, a movie, is late getting home from work, etc, doesn’t matter what, and there’s a movie or something that you want to catch on cable. Now, your parents have given specific instructions that you were not to touch the TV and were to revise your lessons, blah blah blah.

First, don’t expect your parents to be gone for the whole time they’re supposed to be gone. Always remember that they might come home any second for various reasons, again, doesn’t matter what.

Second, keep the volume of your TV low. You don’t want them hearing it as they come in.

Third, keep your books open near you if you happen to study in the living room. If not, as soon as you hear your parents drive up, turn the TV off (remember to switch the channels!) and pretend that you came down, for a glass of water or something.

Fourth, be veerry paranoid. Listen for footsteps and other telling signs of the two forces. Switch off the TV at any given suspicious sound.

Last, but not least, TRY NOT TO LOOK GUILTY! Be calm. Relax. And remember not to freeze with the remote control in your hands like a doofus when they show up!

2- HAVE A SIBLING

Okay, so maybe it’s not something you can do, but for those of you who have a sister or brother I’d like to point out some things that will I’m sure help. Now, having a sibling involved in your little acts of deliberate disobedience depends on 3 factors:

Number 1: Do they like you?

This is the most important of the aforementioned 3 factors. If your brother or sister has sworn vengeance on you, there’s no way you can just do willy-nilly in the house. Surely the little brat (or older brat) would rat out on you! So I think in accordance to ‘be prepared’, one should be nice to their sibling, however nauseating it may be, if you want to choose a career in house-hold mayhem. Now, if your sibling and you like each other or can at least be civil with each other, you have the advantage of an alibi. It’s the age-old, ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’ concept of helping each other out. Although, in order to make sure it doesn’t backfire on you, you gotta be sure not to piss each other off too much! If it comes down to it, be sure you have discriminating evidence against your sibling for blackmailing purposes; but then that’s another thing and I’m not going to go into that..yet.

Number 2: Do you have the same interests?

Although this isn’t necessarily important, it has the ability of: providing more fun for the parties involved; giving each other courage knowing, you’ve found an ally in your own blood and getting out of trouble in the nick of time when you’re working together to achieve the same goal.

Number 3: Are they impervious to torture?

So they might like you a lot and may share the same interests as you, but how strong are they when confronted? It’s a bit difficult when you can’t even hate the little snots responsible for it when you land in trouble because they caved under questioning. You know they didn’t do it on purpose, but just can’t help making violent gestures with your hands whenever you see them and then you end up guilt-ridden. In order to avoid feeling like that, be sure your partner-in-crime is up to the dangers of the task ahead. If you feel like your sibling lacks in this category, I strongly recommend that you not include him/her in your misdemeanors, unless you are super confident that you won’t leave evidence for the ‘enemy’ to find and question.

Me? I have an older sister and although we both kinda keep to ourselves, we happen to like the same stuff, so it’s great when our parents are out. We totally got each other’s backs, although it’s mainly ‘cause we just don’t like the sound of mum shouting. At all.

(To be continued)

I’m trying really hard to ignore you...

Needless to say I’m failing miserably…

Why am I telling you this? Even I’m not sure…

But I have a few ideas…

Like I always do...

..maybe I’m hoping that it'll be easier...

..maybe I’m hoping that you'd notice..that you'd pay more attention...

..maybe I’m hoping that if I tell you this, I’d try harder.. that my stupid pride would prevent me from thinking of you...

Yet my hand is reaching out to my phone..before I know what’s going on, I’m dialing your number.. I’m fully aware of what I’m doing by now..but I can’t bring myself to hang up...

And that pisses me off like you wouldn’t believe!..even more so when you don’t pick up and the line goes dead...

I apologize for speaking like that, but if you felt like I do, you'd be mad too..especially when you know you'd do it again...

..and again...

..and again...

..and yet again…

Just can’t seem to be able to bring myself to care about the ungodly hour....

...nor that I’m making a bigger fool of myself...

recuperation

ok so i was like "writing, YEAH!!" when i started this blog but now seem to have lost it...sigh...need to read something that would inspire me to write again...mind, i have started a couple of pieces but seem to have lost the zest for it...a shame really, since one of them is really interesting (atleast for me and the people to whom i have shown what i've written so far - hope you people will find it entertaining as well) and i really really enjoyed writing it... it seems i suffer from a writer's block that is so constant that my break from it, is my "writer's block"- the block or period of time i actually do any writing...sigh...the irony is so not amusing me...

also, since i've quite recently started college (been about a month) i find i rarely have any time to spare, mentally even... feel so drained... but that's enough excuses! i shall try to update this blog as often as possible!

cheers!

“OH! POPEYE…”

So there I was, a couple of days back, standing at my front door waiting for someone (who said he was already there) when I heard my neighbor’s TV. Popeye the Sailorman was on (Cartoon Network, I think) and I immediately recognized the distinctive voice of Olive Oyle. What’s so ground-shaking about that? Well, it definitely made me stare straight ahead at the offending house, stiff with disbelief and a look of incredulity...

Thoughts that ran through my head at that precise moment (more or less): “What the f?...What the f?! Is that for real? It’s a freaking kids’ cartoon for God’s sake!...”

Now, I haven’t seen this cartoon in a long time and I got exposed to it again from a different angle; I only heard her voice and did not have visual to distract me. So imagine what would go through my head when I heard, “..ooohh Popeye!!...ooooohhh...oooooohhhh...ooohhh...!!?” in her girly, irritating voice!

That was all that went on for nearly five minutes. Nothing else. Might have heard Popeye saying a word or two at some point; I have no idea what he said. All that I heard the whole time I stood there was, Olive...moaning(?) in her way. She wasn’t even screaming “help” or “save me, Popeye” as is the norm, but just “ooohh”...

For what it’s worth, despite the awful inappropriateness, it sure was hilarious! Next time Popeye the Sailorman is on, close your eyes and listen to Olive Oyle’s distress call. Try it. You’ll never see that cartoon the same way again...”says Popeye the sailorman, toot-toot!”

just for the hell of it..

yep!that pretty much states my reason for having a blog...i dnt hav anything i particularly wanna say...well atleast not yet...thoughts come and go in my head...too fast for me to catch most of them...not that i was tryin too hard anyways...always wanted to write though...so hey wat the hell!! i'll giv it a shot...later that is... :P

cheers!